• Christian Dating In Your 30s Videos
• How To Meet People In Your 30s

Age Is Just a Number. Does age really matter? Don't be so quick to write people off. Nov 19, 2015 QUESTION: 'Dear He Said She Said, I'm 30 years old and single. I always assumed I would be married before 30, and now I'm adjusting to life in my 30's as a single Christian woman.

• Jun 17, 2015 The type of mate you’re looking for in your 30s is probably different than your ideal partner in your 20s. While these exact details will vary from person to person, generally those dating after 30 will have a clearer picture of their ideal mate while younger daters have a more ambiguous picture.
• A completely different online dating experience with eharmony. We know that dating in your 30s isn’t always straightforward. So, whether you’re getting back to it after some time out of the dating pool or looking to take your online dating experience to a level where you’re actually connecting with other compatible relationship-minded singles, eharmony has the expertise and user-base to.

• The Singles Network Ministries, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
• 201413 Feb

EDITOR'S NOTE: He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously).

QUESTION: I'm 46 years old and have been single for 8 years. I would really like to get married, but I feel like I don't know how to date anymore. Help!

HE SAID:

I’m sure many of us have found ourselves at that very same place at times. I have heard it said if we don’t continue to learn and re-educate ourselves every four years, we fall back fifty percent in knowledge. If this is true in the dating realm, it’s time for you to get back in the game and learn, or re-learn, some of the skills you had.

I have always likened dating to a job interview.

You search for a companion with many of the same criteria you would a prospective employer.

You want to work for someone who will put you in a position to succeed, and help you to succeed.

You want an environment where you can utilize your gifts, passion and desires to grow and serve in a meaningful way.

You want a place where you will be valued, recognized and appreciated.

In the same way, a relationship with a mate should reflect many of these same desires.

In preparation for an actual interview, you research, prepare and learn as much as you can about the company. You want to know about their values, purpose and reason they do what they do (and what they believe). It’s beneficial to find out who they align themselves with and whom they serve. You want to know whether the company has a long-standing track record or just around for a quick profit (or one-night stand).

Likewise knowing these things about a prospective mate could make a difference whether or not the date should go forward.

At an interview, you want to put your best foot forward, be friendly, smile, engage yourself in conversation, ask questions of the employer, find out what makes them tick, and discover what they like about their job. It’s a matter of seeing if you and they may be the right “fit” for each other.

On a date, we essentially do the same thing. However, sometimes we make the mistake in thinking if it doesn’t work out someone has to “at blame.” Oftentimes, two perfectly good people aren’t meant to be with one another (in a relationship), but doesn’t make either of them “bad” or “wrong,” just not the right one for each other.

When considering a relationship, determine if each of you helps make the other person better. Whatever the type - business, personal or otherwise, should be a one plus one equal three situation, otherwise what’s the purpose? Good luck on your next “interview.”

SHE SAID:

Thanks for sharing what so many are feeling today. When you are young it seems so effortless to date. Usually your goal isn't to get married right away so you view dating as something fun to do. However, as you get older and more mature in Christ, dating can get much more serious. Most singles over a certain age want to get married or remarried. So how do you date these days? The same as you did when you were young! But with much more prayer and intentionality.

Because your focus is marriage, continue to pray and ask God if there is there anything within yourself that could use improving. Also, start praying for who God would want you to get to know better and ask out. Next, surround yourself with singles through small groups, events, mission trips, worship, and socials. Today it’s important to build those friendships; friendships can often lead to dating.

I love getting to know the men in my church way before a first date. I can find out through table discussion in Sunday school or group dinners how they spend their money, their time, and their talents. I can find out what is important to them in life, their goals and their passion. This way when I get asked out, I am already in prayer if this is the person for me. But please know I have had many lunches, dinners, and walks with guys that I have not pursued a dating relationship with. There is a value of having a date that is simply about gathering more information without a commitment.

So how do you date today again? The same way. You earnestly seek to get to know them better in a group, then one-on-one. Then if God tells you this could be the one, pursue a commitment with the goal of dating towards marriage. Don't worry; you will know what to do. Also, including friends (married and single) to hold you accountable and offer support and advice is valuable.

Christian Dating In Your 30s Videos

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:1-2 ESV)..

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is ...Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is also the author of three books.

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately.

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: February 13, 2014

When you hear a single twenty something lamenting their singleness, you roll your eyes because they haven’t a clue. Singleness doesn’t even really start until they’re out of college and officially adulting, so those twenty somethings haven’t even experienced a full decade of life as a single adult.

But you, you GET singleness. You get what it’s like to do nothing and wait for someone to be dropped on your doorstep by the singleness stork and you get what it’s like to try to get into the “game,” so to speak. You’re also not THAT different from the twenty somethings—you’re not afraid of technology and you’re certainly not old (yet!).

At this point in your life, you’re just looking for the Real Deal. Your twenties were fun, but you’re feeling the pressure in your thirties. Obviously, you want to wait on the Lord and His timing, but you also want to be sure that He’s not waiting on you to do something—like try online dating.

Around 22% of you have already tried online dating of some sort, whether it’s a traditional online dating site or an app, according to the Pew Research Center. But if you are in your thirties and just trying out online dating, you’re probably finding that there are a million online dating sites and apps and it feels really overwhelming. You’ve heard good and bad stories about a lot of them and you just don’t know where to start.

We’ve got you, fam. Let’s talk about the Best Christian Dating Sites for 30s.

To App or Not to App?

The most obvious place to start are the free online dating apps. You know, the ones like Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel? You’ve probably heard from a friend or two or three who has an app or two or three on their phone. They’re always swiping and talking to someone; they even go on a few more dates than you.

When apps came onto the scene recently, it didn’t take long for this internet-savvy culture to realize they were an easier method for online dating than traditional sites. All you had to do was connect your Facebook profile to them and start swiping. It does sound fun and easy—for a few weeks.

After a while, people start getting Swiping Fatigue (Yes, it’s a real thing!) and they tired of having to siphon through the profiles who just want a hook-up and having a bunch of connections that aren’t really going anywhere.

Our philosophy on the free dating apps is that it’s not a bad idea to have 1 or 2 of them on the side because you never know if you’ll find a great match one day. However, since people don’t have to pay on most of these apps, it affects members’ commitment level and since none of us in our thirties want to play games or hook up at this point, we typically advise thirty somethings to pay for a traditional online dating site, but also use the free dating apps, too, if you want more.

But if you’re like us and you don’t have the time to keep up with apps and a traditional online dating site, then drop the app and pay the money for the traditional site. We all know by now that you get what you pay for, and while some app users might be successful, more people are on there to just play the field. More serious dating candidates can be found putting their money behind their search on traditional sites, at least that’s what we think and what other Christian singles have told us when we surveyed them.

But which sites are the Best Christian Dating Sites for 30s? We’ve been talking to Christian singles for years about this very thing. Based on the data from what they’ve told us and the research that we’ve also done in reviewing the various online dating sites, we’ve found the following are the top 5 sites for Christians when it comes to finding like-minded matches online are: eharmony, Match.com, Christian Café, Christian Mingle, and Christian Crush.

Here’s our breakdown for the Best Christian Dating Sites for 30s:

Who Has the Most Users?

For some, the number of members a site has is the single biggest factor when considering an online dating site. The way they see it, online dating is a numbers game, and the more the merrier…er, the more options they have, even if the database consists of more than Christians.

eharmony has been around since 2000 and makes over 15 million matches a day. Match was the first of the online dating sites, having been launched in 1995 and has around 10 million users. Twenty-five percent of Match users are under 30 years of age. Christian Mingle came on the scene in 2001. It bills itself as “the largest and fastest growing online community of Christian singles.” As of 2016, it had over 9 million registered users.

So considering those numbers, if having access to the most matches possible is your priority in your site for Christian Online Dating Sites for 30s, then Christian Café and Christian Crush probably won’t be the best sites for you. They have significantly less members over all than any of the other 3 sites. You’ll probably receive a couple of hundred matches throughout the United States on Christian Café and Christian Crush, instead of hundreds to thousands locally like on eharmony, Match, and Christian Mingle. But, since both Christian Café and Christian Crush target Christians specifically, it’s more likely for all of your matches to be like-minded Christians.

Still, if we’re talking the best Christian dating sites for 30s, numbers are important and Christian Café and Christian Crush are going to come in with far less matches than the other three.

SingleRoots Recommendation: eharmony, Match.com, and Christian Mingle

Which Site Is the Easiest to Use?

When you’re dealing with a paid online dating site, there really isn’t the option to connect your Facebook account and let it do the talking for you. You can connect your Match account to Facebook and pull over some profile pictures, but that’s about it. So, right out of the gate, a traditional online dating site is going to require a few minutes of your time to answer questions, upload photos, and get your profile set-up.

While it may take 15-20 minutes to take the personality inventory for eharmony, hands down it’s the easiest site to maneuver out there once you get it set up. That’s probably because you don’t get access to the entire database of eharmony users. They send you an average of 7 matches per day for you to peruse and you decide if you want to converse with them. Because you’re not conducting daily searches, eharmony is a pretty straightforward, easy-to-use site. The profiles are easy to read and their matching process is easy to understand.

Match.com, Christian Mingle, and Christian Café have a slightly larger learning curve because they come with more search options, chat features, as well as other bells and whistles. That’s not to say that those three sites are difficult to figure out—especially to someone who grew up on technology, like yourself—but it does take a little more time and effort to understand all of their features when compared to eharmony.

Christian Crush is fairly straightforward, too, but it’s not as user friendly. The site involves more than online dating (Christian Counseling, marriage seminars, and porn seminars are also offered), so it can be a little cumbersome to find the online dating portion of the site. Once you’re in the site, conducting a search is simple enough, but the user experience could be better. Things like enlarging photos and returning to the home page need work. They also offer the option of uploading a video to your profile, which is a nice option that the others don’t have.

SingleRoots Recommendation: eharmony

Which Sites Are the Best for Finding Christians?

So one would probably guess that the sites with the word “Christian” in the title are the greatest options for finding the best Christian online datings sites for 30s. And that’s true…for the most part. Keep reading, though.

Using a site that specifically targets the Christian demographic, like Christian Mingle, Christian Café, or Christian Crush, is a good way to wade through the non-Christian matches on an online dating site. Granted, not all of those “Christian” sites are going to deliver Christians, let alone Christians that have the same level of commitment to Christ that you have, but they are a good start.

The problem goes back to the numbers conversation we had earlier. Christian Café and Christian Crush just don’t have the membership numbers that the Big Three—eharmony, Match.com, and Christian Mingle—have. Christian Mingle has the largest user base of the sites that specifically target Christians. Again, that doesn’t mean every user is going to be a Christian—not everyone tells the truth on the internet and not everyone defines the term “Christian” in the same way—but Christians are the demographic the site is targeting, nonetheless.

Christian Café has been around since 1999, and although we don’t know exact membership numbers, we do know that our research shows searches significantly less members in several age groups. However, the site does boast that they’ve seen over 25,000 marriages from their site.

How To Meet People In Your 30s

If you’re in the Colorado area, Christian Crush might be a good option for you because it is located in Colorado and their user base relies heavily upon local singles. That’s not to say that it won’t work for those living beyond Colorado, but the chances are far less if you live elsewhere.

While eharmony isn’t a Christian-specific site, there’s something to be said for their personality assessment and your personal management of your match settings. Over and over, we hear from Christians who have met their spouses on eharmony more than we do from any other online dating site. Sure, you will be given the occasional non-Christian, but if you control your settings correctly, you’ll find their algorithm is pretty good about sending you Christian matches.

SingleRoots Recommendation: eharmony, Christian Mingle, and Christian Café

Which Site Gives the Most Control?

One of the arguments we hear against eharmony is that users aren’t allowed access to the entire database of eharmony. And that’s true. The algorithm matches you with users that fit your settings, as well as your personality. There’s also a “What If?” feature that you can scroll through to determine your interest in matches who don’t quite meet all of your setting criteria, but that’s the extent of your ability to control eharmony.

The other 4 sites—Match, Christian Mingle, Christian Café, and Christian Crush—allow you to search their sites fully to see all of their matches at any age. If the ability to view, search, and communicate with anyone and everyone is of utmost importance to you as you search online for dates, then you’ll be pleased with any of those four.

SingleRoots Recommendation: Match.com, Christian Mingle, Christian Café, and Christian Crush

Which Sites Have Mobile Options?

We live in a mobile world. Most of you are probably even reading this post from your phone or tablet, so it stands to reason that you want your online dating on-the-go, too. The good news is that all of the of the best Christian dating sites except Christian Crush offer fully-functioning mobile apps that allow you to view matches and communicate with them from your phone or tablet.
eharmony, Match, and Christian Mingle also offer Tinder-like options within their app so you can swipe on matches if you don’t want to conduct a full search.

SingleRoots Recommendation: eharmony, Match.com, Christian Mingle, and Christian Cafe

Which Site Is the Cheapest?

You’re a struggling thirty something and you believed J. Lo when she told you that “love don’t cost a thing.” Aw, that’s sweet.

It goes without saying that these are paid online dating sites and they’re going to cost you something. Some of the sites are more expensive than others; however, if you check our coupon block at the bottom of the page, we update it whenever we’re notified of new discounts that might help offset your quest to find your Boo.

Another thing to remember is the more months you sign up for, the greater your discount will probably be. Experts will tell you it takes a good 3 months, on average, to find something meaningful online. A one-month membership is a little short-sighted because it takes a little while to figure out the site, start communicating, and learn what you are and are not looking for, so keep that in mind when you’re determining the best site for you. But, if online dating makes you nervous, a one-month membership is a good way to get your feet wet and try it out.

It’s a fact that eharmony is the most expensive site on the list. One month on eharmony, without a discount, can run you nearly $60. But if you sign up for a year, you can see those monthly rates drop to around $20 a month.
Match.com, Christian Mingle, and Christian Café are usually similarly priced and run under $35 for a one-month subscription and can go as low as $15 for longer subscriptions, if not lower.

Christian Crush comes in the lowest priced, charging $14.99 for one month, or going as low as $8.33 a month for a 6-month subscription. If you upload a video on your Christian Crush profile, you can receive 2 weeks free.

SingleRoots Recommendation: Christian Crush

Best Christian Dating Site for 30s :: SingleRoots Recommends

If you’re looking for the best Christian dating sites for 30s, it’s our recommendation that you try eharmony first.

Our research shows that more Christian singles are using eharmony and finding marriage on that site than any of the others. The eharmony personality assessment, along with strict setting options about religious preferences, help to insure more like-minded Christian matches are delivered to your inbox instead of you having to wade through thousands of profiles to search for them.

Granted, you won’t have as much control over your selections and it will be a little more expensive than those other sites, but there are going to be downsides no matter which site you choose.

If eharmony doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, then we’d recommend Match.com. As much as we are rooting for the smaller sites like Christian Café and Christian Crush to grow, at this point, their numbers just don’t compare with the eharmony and Match. And the more profiles available, the more options you have for finding good Christian matches.

While certainly imperfect, we think you’ll find your time and money are best used on eharmony or Match so we recommend them as the best Christian online dating site for 30s.

And to help you get started, here are the most up-to-date deals we are aware of for each online dating site:

Current Online Dating Deals:

Last Updated: 7/6/2021

eharmony (USA Offers):

eharmony (Canada Offers):

eharmony (UK Offers):

Zoosk:

ChristianMingle.com:

Christian Cafe:

Best Christian Dating Sites Rankings